People who know me often ask how I’m so available for my kids.
How do I have the time to take them to sports lessons, help them with their homework, read them bedtime stories, and make surprise dinners for my wife?
The answer surprises them: my availability and peace are by design. They come from the boundaries I’ve set at work.
That doesn’t mean I’m good at boundaries everywhere. For a long time, I’ve struggled with setting them, especially in my personal life. I still do, to be honest. I struggle to say NO to the people I deeply love and care about.
But at work, it’s a different story. I have some pretty solid boundaries that help me stay sane.
Here are the choices I’ve made that have helped me most.
1. I only work with clients outside India.
No local clients. [Add your reason here, e.g., “In my experience, local projects often come with expectations of round-the-clock availability and budgets that don’t match the value of the work.”]
2. I set clear communication boundaries.
No WhatsApp, no daily standups, no team meetings, no late-night calls. All communication happens via Basecamp. Everything is written down and in one place, and I respond when I’m actually working, not whenever my phone buzzes.
3. I ONLY take projects where I control the outcome.
Websites, landing pages, performance ads, email funnels, and conversion rate optimization. If I’m going to be judged on results, I need to own the work that drives them. I don’t want to be blamed for outcomes I have no say in.
4. I take red flags seriously.
Here are some of the red flags I judge clients against:
- Negotiating before they understand the scope, or haggling over every line item
- Criticizing their previous vendors (because next time, it’ll be me)
- Demanding daily updates
- Setting unreasonable deadlines
- Inconsiderate or rude behavior
5. I’m quick to walk away.
Recently, I worked with a client who was happy with my work, but the way he spoke to me felt disrespectful. On calls, he’d ask me to repeat his instructions back to him, as if he were checking that a child had understood. I was fine with it the first couple of times. But when it became a pattern, I knew this wasn’t a relationship I wanted to continue.
Since he was an Upwork client, confronting him wasn’t a smart option. One bad review could hurt me for months and years. So I was tactical. I delivered the work that was in scope, and did it well. Then I politely told him I didn’t have the bandwidth for the next project, even though I’d originally agreed to it.
Within a few weeks, I’d replaced him with a much better client.
Yes, these boundaries have cost me. I’ve turned down good money. But every time I’ve ignored a red flag, it’s cost me far more in stress, time, and energy than the project was worth.
This list isn’t exhaustive, and it’s not for everyone.
I’m able to set these boundaries because I have a choice. I have new leads coming in from Upwork and from my personal and professional network.
Maybe you don’t have that choice yet because you’re just starting out. That’s okay. Here’s how to work toward it:
- Build a pipeline. Never depend on one client or one platform for all your work. Keep leads coming in, even when you’re busy.
- Keep a financial buffer. A few months of savings is what makes saying NO possible. It’s hard to walk away from a bad client when you need next month’s rent.
- Start with one boundary. You don’t need all five on day one. Pick one, like no WhatsApp, and stick to it. Add more as you grow.
The goal is to get yourself into a position where your clients know you can afford to say NO. When you get on a call, they should know you’re judging them as much as they’re judging you.
What’s one boundary you’ve set that changed your work life?
I’d love to hear from you.
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